Abyss

I remember reading somewhere about a good advise to come up with something. It says about filling up the volume of work after which you start to see your work taking some shape. In my personal experience, this also goes with your thinking. Everyone is in a constant process of making their own understanding of this world, universe and themselves. I have seen myself thinking about purpose, reason and the whole meaning of existence since I was is school (maybe around 14/15) and there has been tremendous amount of churning of thoughts ever since. Sometimes when I got some new insights and understanding of the world and self, through philosophy, science, religious texts or discussions with other people, it was exciting. Then there has been number of times full of despair and loss of reason. The whole existence seemed just futile and things happening as haywire with no laws attached to them. Somewhere in my mind I knew that this is a phase of crisis which I have to pass through, even if it means examining the same thoughts with no new insights again and again and even if I was feeling I am being drowned more and more into my own construction of abstract and useless philosophy. One of the things I came across today while checking the old drafts goes like...


Even Zaphod Beeblebrox fails today to pull me out of this despair, to pull me out of the unending quest of the   profound whose existence I have started to doubt. I remember so many hours of discussions, contemplation about the human reason, its purpose and everything else and even the need of an individual to ponder over these things.

Is the ultimate longing of a human being is to get a larger perspective? Are we destined to struggle and fail at comprehending the limitless possibilities and probabilities of existence? Its like through the whole journey of life you knew what it was but still you wasted your time searching for it? Why do we constantly have to torture our i.....

Maybe more than three years have passed since I was writing the above things. Today I could find a profound difference between my thoughts then and now. I don't claim to have become all knowing all of a sudden, still I can see more clarity towards the path I want to walk in my life. And if someone is reading, I would say do not give up doing anything you like because it looks fruitless or useless. Whether it be daydreaming, dancing, watching moon, thinking, just sitting, reading 'useless' things etc.. because I believe the only thing matters is commitment and whole heart. For anything. The magic exists and it starts to make wonders after you have done your time. And after that there is no worrying for the 'useless' things like success/failure, useful/useless, whether is not is the thing you like is going to bring you anything good... One thing I can say I have learnt is that the biggest secrets of the universe are revealed through everything that is there in the universe. Just pour your heart to something and let the joy pour itself on you :)

Chaos

I recently watched a documentary in which a guy was explaining how the perception of India as 'chaotic' (which is not hundred percent wrong, I will come to it later) is limited and there are other factors needed to take into account to get a complete picture of it. I, as Indian, when living in India never felt it to be chaotic (of course?!) unless it was 'brought to attention' by media which is largely influenced by a western perspective. According to this guy, to which I agree, the main necessity to create order and uniformity is exclusion. Exclusion of the things, people, plants, animals which are a hurdle in making an order. The aim in west is to maintain uniformity. Uniformity of economy, ways of living, things you wear, your cars, rules, mindsets and so.. Unfortunately (according to western truth) and fortunately (for a better world), in India the principal thought is 'inclusion'. The ideal ruler here is expected to deny the rights to no one based on any apparent form of difference.. ethnic, economic, cultural etc..

I am not saying that things going on in India are perfect and don't need change but we have to consider that we are trying to accommodate the structure which in its basic nature made of small independent units into a centralized system of control which is against our nature. 

Nothing in its physical form defies the belief systems and instinctive nature of the people. We are a polytheistic culture. We know there is only one truth and also know that everyone can't have or rather can't be forced to walk on the same path. Similarly establishing a central truth, central capitalistic system of control is against our nature. We are truly global and we have to realize that. As Gandhiji had said we need to move towards villages. We need to make small independent and sustaining units chained together with one common purpose as reflected in our way of living, our society is made of small independent sects which are a part of a bigger picture. 

It is immensely regretful that structure we desire to build now was already known to exist in ancient civilizations and how the self proclaiming 'modern' capitalistic and no tolerance oriented myopic civilizations brought nothing but doom to the mankind. But nevertheless now we have seen and known how things work and I have a faith that we will start the change from ourselves to try to be truly global. Not to compete but collaborate, not to dominate but grow together, being independent and still be together, to make a nation which is capable of making a remarkable example of being truly global. 

Why

It was the time when
we used to walk looking down
Passing each other we would sense
that we belong together

The wait till the thunder storms
to have our time
that glance into eyes
showing the flashes of the
infinite and timeless

Then it was addiction
to not look apart
Soul drunk on poison
and drenched in the rain

We had to stop
for it was too much
to live

The rain had to stop
love had to part
for the universe
to move on

Singularity
The most stable state where everything ceases
The divine love takes us back to it
It is liberation
But now, the universe and I both
have expanded so much

The journey back there is long
Beautiful but not easy
Getting back there is exciting and scary
Its death
Death of your ego
Surrender to infinity

I have the I and the ego
as my master
That's why we are scared
Because love is death

Yes

There I was making myself enough

To live my life

When life itself was knocking on my door

all the time

It used to say 

come let's play

All I had to say was yes!

I was scared all the time

Preparing myself to live 

When life itself was there

with open arms

All i needed to do was 

to look up into her eyes

And embrace the love

All the divine longing

I longed

Was there itself right in front

With open arms

And sparkling eyes

All I had to do was 

look up 

and say yes

Let's play.. 

Selfie

Now a days I got to read so much about 'scientists' whose 'research' links selfies to narcissism, addiction and mental illness etc. Well of course it is linked to self obsession. I don't understand what research needs to be done to highlight an obvious fact. Linking it to these illnesses is still alright but concluding that these conditions are caused by taking selfies is going way overboard, I think.

A narcissist is a narcissist. Taking a selfie doesn't make one. Say I am a narcissist (whether I am or not is unknown to me too, and who is to say anyway) and if I don't have an option to take a selfie, I would bug my friends to take my pictures from above my head, below my chin etc. I would spend hours and hours in front of mirror before going outside. Before cellphones I remember there were small mirrors those could fit in a pocket. Atleast sefies have given it a way. Obsession over looks and response from social media is not caused by selfies. It is already there and selfies are just a symptom. And once more our beloved 'researchers' are trying to cure symptoms. 

And who is going to judge if someone is a narcissist. I say the people who are researching on such obvious fact and feeling that they have figured out the problems of the world and feeling good are narcissists themselves. So I want to say it to people, teenage girls, guys, old people, young people, everyone.. if you want to take your own pictures, do it. If you are a narcissist, atleast be genuine. Don't let a bunch of good for nothing researchers demoralize you. If you really think you have a 'condition', reflect over it. Do not get led to believe you need external help. You are good enough and intelligent to solve your own problems.

And my beloved researchers, find some real things to work on. Go stop some wars or get a life or cat or whatever...