The deep sadness in me 

I see in an instant changing into deepest bliss 

The fear is that of emptiness 

Of having no passion 

But once confronted 

One does not need to add anything to life 

But has courage to see what remains 

what remains if I stripped it off of everything that doesn't belong 

The dancing, radiating emptiness is the abundance itself 

Whole existence comes to life through me 

As I find my spirit 

The silent symphony reaches its peaks 

A cosmic party 

Where I am the lover 

And I am the beloved 

The epic romance one dreams off 

Hides within 

The great yearning directed inwards 

Is healed through meeting oneself 

In the paradoxical abundance of ones own spirit 

Today I woke up in love

 Many a days I woke up awake 

Awake as awake could be 

As awake as anyone could be 

But today is different 

Today I woke up in love 

Realising a new depth of awakening

An explosion of love

Going to sleep yesterday

Love came to me and intrigued me to consider it

How would it be to give it a chance

Yesterday I was convinced 

Of my lack of compassion towards my fellow beings 

My mind claiming my awakening 

And the intellectual pride thereof 

And a fear always lingering 

A sense of conflict and division springing from that 

But the mind not knowing there's a whole new world inside 

Calling one to submerge into it 

And I see in full clarity 

That opposite of fear is not lack of it

But a presence of love, a loving presence 

For all that is, for oneself 

Love is how the fear is vanquished  

Something of immense significance happened here 

And I am here as a witness 

Delightfully surprised 

One has become many
And one has remained one
At the same time

That whole in it's wholeness
Is contained in all of the parts

To know that one
Is to know yourself

To know yourself
Is to forget yourself

The absolute not knowing
Is the dawn of knowledge

As above so below
As inside is outside

This way the holy fool
Knows nothing at all
Yet knows everything

From Gross to Subtle to Nothing

As my awareness is deepening and as I have touched and experience the deep deep silence that is present within..

Somehow it is more and more evident to me that the composers of classical music in the old times must have composed it from a place of deep silence. Not only that but the instruments they have invented like flute and Veena could not come into existence without accessing the deeper realms of experience. There is something very subtle that responds very intimately with the sound of such. I can see that why it is called a ''Sangeet Sadhana" that demands utmost dedication and discipline of character, purity of intention and a ''Deeksha" from a Guru.

This is not about morality but there is something "existentially right" in the pure mental channels and how this brings one to a certain state of caliber. One who has understood and accessed the enlightened consciousness displays a certain behavior that is accepted as a virtue by others who can sense the distinction present in such a being. The idea of virtue is born out of natural or "Sahaj" behavior of a Sage that is not in conflict with the existence and it is not a certain code given by some self righteous one. Thus a virtue is a higher virtue if the one displaying it is not even aware of it. Through accessing the Sahaj realm there is no more mental conflict in him and no conscious awareness of hierarchy of virtues. His actions are not guided by a certain idea of higher or lower virtues but it is a spiritual perfection of action that is not even an action, a non-action if you will.

So coming back to the stillness of the mind-- I see a tremendous change in my music taste.. something I could not tolerate before because it was "too slow" or "monotonous" or "boring" is now making me shed tears, sometime uncontrollably. Simple flute sounds are putting me into such a sweet ecstatic experiences that it is for me not less than a miracle. I am able to appreciate more subtle realms and the dependency on gross stimulants such as loud sounds, intoxicants, physical compulsions is going down. It is as if never before I had smelled the air or tasted the water or felt the touch of rays of Sun. The colors are much brighter, all existence looks as if it is just washed clean by rains  body is much lighter sometimes even weightless (not exaggerating), mind fresher and more lucid and prana much more vital. For longer periods of time (compared to my past) I am remaining without any thought in my mind and what a tremendous tremendous experience this is I cannot even begin to explain. It is as if the birds, trees, the dust particles, clouds everything has realized that they are nothing but God himself and are absorbed in the deep reverence and a great great celebration.

I am appreciating the heritage that we have in India where for thousands of years people have known the secrets of universe. Realization or liberation or Mukti or enlightenment is recognized as a complete fulfillment of life. A little droplet of that experience has come my way and has drenched me in this kind of experience, I wonder what they had meant by you yourself are God. You yourself are that infinite knowledge of all that ever existed and ever will exist. That you yourself are that eternal Parmatma who is at the same time infinite bliss, infinite knowledge and infinite power. 



 

Change is welcomed
When one's dwelling place is the changelessness

Involvement is ensured
When there's a certain sense of abandon

One can care about things
When one has known absolute carelessness

One can be serious about something
When one knows how to play

One can work at something
If one knows how to relax 

The Genius of the Buddha

The way Buddha laid out his Sutras is one of the greatest expression of Genius.

He didn't start with God (Ishvar) or Soul (Parmatma) or any such concepts which can be believed or disbelieved. Many awakened beings invoked devotion or belief which lead to an experience. He invoked Reason. And when one HAS an experience, they transcend the reason. But they won't become angry at Buddha. They would become thankful.

He started with addressing the human suffering. Anyone with slightest depth of understanding cannot deny the suffering in life. And he displayed the qualities of the one who has transcended the realm of suffering. For good. A living and embodied example. And nobody could deny that too.

He didn't talk at all about how the destination feels like. He met people where THEY were. And laid out methods and a map of understanding to show how the suffering is self created. He just told that this suffering can be alleviated. Didn't even promise that it could be permanently rooted out. Inch by inch he moved them closer and closer to the experience but never talked about the experience directly. He only spoke of the way!

How beautiful. How clever. He knew that people who are used to live a life of bondage will get scared if he starts telling them about the open skies of freedom. He did not reveal the Glorious just in the beginning as it is really an insult of the people who are struggling even in the mundane plane. He knew that they are bound to deny any such thing exists because if they accept it, that would mean they have spent their whole life in a false world. In illusion. 

And what an impact has this had in the last two thousand years. How many people have been led. Without aggressiveness and without cleverness/deception. People have followed Buddha solely on the basis of the power of his reasoning. Makes one bow down in love and admiration!

And it has become even more significant for the current times. Where one cannot be moved by faith. One demands reason and rightly so. People are thinking for themselves and people are more honest. They don't want phony gestures of religiousness. They want a solid logical foundation and a detailed analysis which satisfies and addresses the complexity of their problems. And a solution that works! 

~ Based on a talk of Osho about Buddha 

~ Dedicated back to Osho to whom I am eternally grateful 

~ In service to the earnest seeker

As if

One of the remarkable things I noticed about myself is that when I am questioned about my take on things, the way I articulate a response is something that surprises me a great deal. I also have times of absolute incoherence of speech but more on that later (or never).

So I was talking to my brother in law about the ways used by the people who have had encounters with deeper mysteries of life and their dilemma about whether to keep a historical continuity or to lay out totally new narrative to guide one from the current experiences to the deeper mechanics.

The topic was about reincarnations and the soul going through different stages of vegetation, animal forms, human incarnations and so on. And I noticed myself saying "Certainly there is not going to be a provable answer about this thing. And what one can say is, it is 'as if'' the 'soul' has gone through all those stages if we look at the development of the human embryo. The same thing goes about God."

Rather than having to arrive at some reasonable answer, one can experiment with different as ifs. Whatever suits one in the given situation. The nature of the mind is such that it is never going to settle this issue intellectually. What one can then do is to explore the as if ness of things. If the conviction as if god exists helps one to put down the burden of their thoughts, rather than questioning about the existence of god why not to focus on what it did for you. If it brought certain kind of ease or provoked some intense devotion or just gave one a sense to go on. Then, something worth noting here which often goes unnoticed is that even though there is a question about existence of god, what it did for you is real. The sense of ease that was brought to you was real. The hope that was brought to you was real. The devotion was real. That means we have a capacity to generate any experience we desire. We are doing it anyway but just didn't ponder over it. Through this, one can realize that one is constantly generating their experience by themselves. And when this process becomes compulsive we call it stress, anxiety, depression and so on.

Then one can notice a very important thing that the natural state of the mind is that of ease. The ease was not a product of the belief in non existent god, rather the dis-ease is the product of belief in the non-existent world. Yes. The non-existent world. The image of the world made up in the mind being nasty and terrible. Again is the world a terrible place or not is debatable like the question of god. What one can notice is one has the power to put any meaning in it and generate any kind of chemistry within the system at will. It is just that we are compulsively creating a bad chemistry in the system. This is the first flip. The journey of discovery. Once this much is clearly understood, recognized and registered, one is not the same anymore. A tremendous shift takes place. Extending this understanding further it is noticed that it is only a single thought in this given moment that is creating all the present, past future and everything. Then one can really witness a thought rising up in the moment and see that if it is not followed, what happens. One falls into a deep ocean of silence. A new territory is discovered. Then one sees that where the simple as if has taken them!

All the different teachings of different awakened beings are simple as ifs. They are the devices made to work in such a way that the thought process comes to an end. And make one fall into 'that'. And through that experience one knows what is knowable and what is not. What is to be known and what is to be left. What is to be perused and what needs to be dropped.

There is a story about Buddha that a devotee person comes to him and asks about the existence of god. Buddha says no. God doesn't exist. Then the news spreads everywhere and one atheist person comes happily to him to make sure that he heard it right. To this person Buddha says. Yes. God does exist. Now we know why!