Moment

I am getting to hear the term 'Living in the moment' a lot more times now a days than ever before. You get to read these quotes from philosophers like you have to live in the present i.e. do not be too anxious about the future and  too sad for the past. To this point, its just easy to get the gist and let go. But, sometimes when I think a lot of it, I happen to create for myself a great deal of confusion. Now, consider one way of looking into the matter-

I have observed myself and other people a lot in this aspect (believe me). Now, I don't have any means to comprehend what is going on in other people's mind. I can just relate and compare it to myself. So, when we talk about living in the moment.. what exactly is that?

if we use the term 'experience' for the time when some event is occurring. And 'feel' for the feeling we get from it. For example when I am experiencing a chase by a big dog, i am feeling fear. So is there any real moment when both these things are happening at once? I think when I am running for my life, I am constantly being oscillated between the anticipation of next fearful moment and the memory of past fearful moment. From the extrapolation of the memory of past events, I am anticipating the feeling I would get the next moment. So, I think there is a chance that there is no function in our brains that enables us to live in the moment literally. 

How might the perception of time be occurring inside our brains? Continuous or in the form of very short and discrete moments, too closely packet together to differentiate at normal time pace? (analogy of particle-wave nature of light might help?). So, after all if we consider it as one of the possibilities that perception of present moment may be out of the abilities of our brains- it may lead us to the total paranoia. Because, the only real moment, we can say is the moment of present. And if we cannot grasp that, that means there is no real time or 'reality' as we say. Something like our consciousness is always orthogonal to our physical existence. And do we say that everything is alright when we see- at any moment in the retrospect, the limit of  time function when it was approached from memory was equal to (the value?) that was approached from the anticipation? 

 The wet roads walked with you
 the lake under the moonlight
 the moments of laughter
 and the silence of embrace
 and a racing heart

 The moment froze
 and exists eternally
 somewhere unknown
 and comes back to me
 today
 with the storm and the rain

The clouds of past
and the deserts of today
meet in thunders
and I just watch

With closed eyes
I relive the time
the soil smells the same
to take me back there
with you
on those roads
and the lake under the moonlight

I want to hold on
but the storm is too strong
too cruel are these gods
bringing me back
away from you

I sail in this hopeless sea
always waiting for the wind to
take me to you
again
on the wet roads
and the lake under the moonlight.

Vague

I admire
I embrace
Not fully
not like I had thought of it

I listen I feel I cry it out
I want to drench
But its not enough

Its not smell
not taste
no feeling of touch

I reach close
Embracing
Close my eyes

Getting closer
Not enough senses

There's the struggle
More force piling on
Every moment
Fierce than the one before

They all move faster
Pray louder
they all know
I stare at them
There's no way
Than to move
In the grand show

For I have not to see it
Not to listen to it
Not smell or touch it

But to pray
And heal

Sheeshe

I think it started, or atleast came back to my mind by the line in Echoes
"I am you and what I see is me"
I have been tripped many times by this thought since I came across it,that, anything we measure/judge/conclude is purely in comparison or to be more precise in reflection to ourselves.. i.e. my thoughts, my feelings, my knowledge about myself is the only criteria I have to observe the external thing.. there is no way, atleast at this stage by which I can take out the self element from my perception..
that means all the beauty I see is me, all the ugly I see is me, all the thing I get annoyed by is me, all the things please me is me..
and this thought never leaves the hold of me..
recently the song which is in my mind also says

maine yeh bhi socha hai aksaar
tu bhi, main bhi ,sabhi hai sheeshe
khudi ko hum sabhi mein dekhe
nahi hoon main, hoon main to phir bhi
sahi galat tumhara main
mujhe pana , pana hai khudko

and so on.....

Good Times

it always happens that you look back and think about the good, past times and unknowingly have a smile spread over your face. Today, I want to take a moment out and appreciate the good times of the present.. good time of today :) it has been a while now when things have been stable and at good pace.. 2011 has been by far the most traveled (also read, loved, thought) year and today again I'm to pack my bags and fly to delhi tomorrow morning..
also the current job is really good and after a lethargic era of the college (acads-wise :P) i took some serious pain and actually worked hard and I tell you it feels good and worth.. the only time i remember i had worked somewhat hard before this was when I was preparing for JEE..
what happens tomorrow is a totally different thing, something else might seem interesting, entire mindset can change or I might go for further education and all that.. but for now all that's aside..
and cheers for today
\m/

Chase

I wish I meet a person saying..


“I had a very contented life, I am happy for whatever things happened in my life which were sometimes in and sometimes out of my control and I don’t see myself fear to death anymore. I will take it peacefully whenever it comes.”


Is there even a rare possibility that at the end of your days you feel proud and content?
A sense of wisdom, accomplishment, peace will be there with you someday?

What is the one thing we always strive for.. betterment.. to be more than what we were a day ago.. to figure out.. to find out the purpose.. the things you really want to do..

In search of a
truth.. that we are not even sure it exists.., purpose.. again not knowing at least we are not chasing mirage..

And even if you feel like you have found one.. what is the guarantee you will stay with it..
As you grow you change..

Your present self is always right and he knows the mistakes he has done in the past..
When you had done those mistakes you thought you are doing no wrong, today again you are at the same point of the loop.. this is your present self and he thinks he is doing right..

Today’s seen is no different than that one..
You think you have figured it all..
A few years down and again there you are there.. end up concluding that you were wrong about all this.. you should have never chosen this path..


What if you dedicate your life to one single thing and at the end of it all you realise it was bullshit and you have no time to undo it?
And what if you try out different things, experiment with your life and in the end realise the thing that really mattered was to devote yourself totally to one thing..
This is our young age. if we screw up now we can start of even from scratch ..But
what if you realise this fact on your 40th birthday.. would you have the same balls as you have now? Won’t it be too difficult to steer the life carrying so much momentum?


Does it all depend on the reasoning and the words?.. the way you are seeing towards it.. someone who can reason it out more convincingly than you.. he can prove to you that you are truly a complete person or you are a total wreck..
And if it is just about interpretations.. what if you do it wrong.. or just pretend you are happy about yourself and thus betray yourself?
Would you think your life was worth it?
Would you do the things you want to do or do the things that matter in society?


Where does it end?
What do you have to do?
Think about it, figure it out and act or just stop trying to control everything and just let it go?

Or maybe you just need to be the stupid shepherd who chased his dream of pyramids through miles and miles of deserts and finally found the elixir at his own place…

Doing Nothing

Many of you wont believe me guys..

but doing nothing is not as easy as it sounds...it is a very difficult discipline to master and takes a lot of toil..

by doing nothing I refer to the intentional idleness and not the helpless situation when you are not being able to do anything..

here.. let me share my encounter to enlightenment..

It so happened that since many days I am obsessed with many things which I am supposed to do ASAP.. some of them are really important and some are just there to haunt me..

and finally.. today.. I stood up strongly against all of them and decided not to do a thing.. Do nothing!!!

So I was doing nothing...

It went smooth till first 10-15 minutes.. (even this much time is OK as a first attempt..) when I was suddenly struck by my own thoughts.. Secretly the ones related to "things to do" were about to unite and rebel...

So just sitting was very difficult and I started to look for something that might help me do nothing..

my guitar.. "no.. I just cant play 'nothing' with it"
cell phone.."no...."
comp...
google search.."God! how to search nothing???"..

and there was it.. I typed "doing nothing" and went for it.. and got the link to wikiHow to do nothing..(there is a seven step procedure given to master the art of doing nothing!!!) and was so happy to know that i am not alone in this journey..

Someone has rightly said..
if you seek for it.. you get it..
even if you seek for "nothing"...

chalo.. i wont add more to this..
see ya later..
have to go and do nothing...