Vyom

I was a big fan of the series Captain Vyom. In that, the captain, who is on a mission to rearrest the nine prisoners bolted from the Aayo Jail. When the captain is looking for people to take with him on the mission, when he comes across the right member, a rainbow like thing appears over their heads which lets the captain know that he has found the right person.

It was really cool :) 

Effervescent and Overwhelmed

The mind. It plays tricks. It colors the past. Its like having a filter which erases all the mundane and routine things. It remembers and adds more colors, more realizations and interpretations of an incident. Playing a scene from the past in your own movie where you add the things you didn't say, the details you didn't notice have their own trail of meanings and branches of stories, the eye contacts and subtle tacit communications which slipped a moment later but resurface after a long time like a sudden fountain and joy adding more and more shades to the picture. 

Human interactions. There's so much more than the words and laughs. You know. I know. That so much is going on that we don't have a grip on it to know it all. When I bring out that moment from the memory bag, there's always more. More than the last time I looked at the frame. And it never stops amusing and overwhelming. 

This joy of not being able to hold on to it. Its eternal. This euphoria, this agony, this sting, this cry, this fight, this overabundance of emotions. This keeps me alive.

Moment

I am getting to hear the term 'Living in the moment' a lot more times now a days than ever before. You get to read these quotes from philosophers like you have to live in the present i.e. do not be too anxious about the future and  too sad for the past. To this point, its just easy to get the gist and let go. But, sometimes when I think a lot of it, I happen to create for myself a great deal of confusion. Now, consider one way of looking into the matter-

I have observed myself and other people a lot in this aspect (believe me). Now, I don't have any means to comprehend what is going on in other people's mind. I can just relate and compare it to myself. So, when we talk about living in the moment.. what exactly is that?

if we use the term 'experience' for the time when some event is occurring. And 'feel' for the feeling we get from it. For example when I am experiencing a chase by a big dog, i am feeling fear. So is there any real moment when both these things are happening at once? I think when I am running for my life, I am constantly being oscillated between the anticipation of next fearful moment and the memory of past fearful moment. From the extrapolation of the memory of past events, I am anticipating the feeling I would get the next moment. So, I think there is a chance that there is no function in our brains that enables us to live in the moment literally. 

How might the perception of time be occurring inside our brains? Continuous or in the form of very short and discrete moments, too closely packet together to differentiate at normal time pace? (analogy of particle-wave nature of light might help?). So, after all if we consider it as one of the possibilities that perception of present moment may be out of the abilities of our brains- it may lead us to the total paranoia. Because, the only real moment, we can say is the moment of present. And if we cannot grasp that, that means there is no real time or 'reality' as we say. Something like our consciousness is always orthogonal to our physical existence. And do we say that everything is alright when we see- at any moment in the retrospect, the limit of  time function when it was approached from memory was equal to (the value?) that was approached from the anticipation? 

 The wet roads walked with you
 the lake under the moonlight
 the moments of laughter
 and the silence of embrace
 and a racing heart

 The moment froze
 and exists eternally
 somewhere unknown
 and comes back to me
 today
 with the storm and the rain

The clouds of past
and the deserts of today
meet in thunders
and I just watch

With closed eyes
I relive the time
the soil smells the same
to take me back there
with you
on those roads
and the lake under the moonlight

I want to hold on
but the storm is too strong
too cruel are these gods
bringing me back
away from you

I sail in this hopeless sea
always waiting for the wind to
take me to you
again
on the wet roads
and the lake under the moonlight.